Sunday, October 15, 2006

They grow up too fast.

My youngest, my baby, is 10 years old. I don't advocate a girl that young being into boys and I know that there are some out there that are going to think this is terrible. But sometimes, when hormones kick in, young girls get crushes. It isn't anything you can put a stop to. It just happens For anyone who wants to beef about that, just ask yourself if you have ever had an emotion kick in whether you wanted it to or not and if you could easily control it AS AN ADULT. What about that last time someone cut you off on the highway? Did a certain emotion get the best of you? Okay, nuff said.

Anyway, she has been hinting around that there was this certain boy...! She hinted at his age, he's about 12. She hinted that he was in our youth group at church. She's hinted that she has played air hockey with him on one of the nights we were helping with the youth, but she has never told me who, and I didn't press her. I know she will tell me in time.

Today, she asked if we had to go back to church next Sunday. Yes of course was our reply and she proceeded to look very glum. I somehow knew it had something to do with that boy, but other than quipping, "boy-trouble?" I didn't push the issue. She said nothing. A few minutes later I had a ball of 10 year old girl curled up beside me. She had turned with her back to me, leaning on me and balled up so no one else could see her pout. I caressed her hair and waiting for her to talk.

Finally, "now I know why they call it a crush." was ever so quietly pouted out. My heart broke. "She's too young to have to deal with these emotions!" my heart cried out to God. "Please protect her tender heart and keep her innocence where her emotions are concerned. It's just too soon."

But like it or not, she has crossed a line. The childlike trust has been broken and she now knows a taste of what a broken heart is like. My poor sweet girl. I ache for her. I am trying to teach her not to give her heart away, but who of us women can remember those first few stirrings over a boy. Could any of us ever imagined a way to curb those feelings, much less put a stop to them? No I don't think I could even do it now, much less when I still had the faith and innocent love of a child. My other girls never really went through this. Oh yeah they had crushes, but they were short lived enough that they didn't experience the rejection. They usually got over the boy first. This one, she is so much like me and I worry for her self image. There SHOULD be nothing there to give her a bad one, but with boys being such a big deal already...SHE'S TEN!!!! It is too soon.

So what is a mom to do? Well, what else do you do for a broken heart? I got her some chocolate.

Hey, don't knock it, it worked!