Saturday, October 28, 2006

Family Photo Shoot

These may be our last family photos. It's just getting too hard to get everybody together anymore.
 
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Friday, October 27, 2006

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Daddy's girl still.

*Disclaimer* This will probably be the saddest post you will ever read of mine. Of all the things I carry with me, this is the source of every dark nook and cranny of my soul. Every hidden secret stems from this one subject and all that is "my story" centers around it. I don't lay blame on anyone for my choices in life, but I do acknowledge the fact that if it weren't for this, the choices I had to make would have been very different. Please do not feel you have to read it. Please do not feel you have to comment. It is simply my effort to put some thoughts into words and round it up with some hopefulness. Today gave me an way to do that.

All I remember of my early years was that I was a Daddy's girl. My fondest memories involve sitting in my Daddy's lap, waiting for him to come home to see what he had for me (he was a drugstore pharmacist and would often pick up some little something for me when he had worked those long weekend shifts), and seeing the fish he would bring home from an early morning fishing trip with my brothers. Indeed, I owe my strong stomach to the mornings of watching him clean fish. Unfortunately, it is only strong where fish are concerned. I would also stand on his feet while he held my hands and walked around the house. I was "walking on daddy". He would sit with one leg crossed over the other in the shape of a 4, making a "hole" between his knees and I would slip through the hole behind his paper and knock on it till he let me climb in his lap.

The summer I was 9, I was shuffled off to a friend's house. I didn't know why. After what seemed like weeks, my mother finally came. But she didn't come to take me home. She came to tell me that my Daddy wanted a divorce. Now my mother never said anything bad about my dad to me, so I am sure she did not say it, but my little girl mind heard "your daddy doesn't love us anymore.

I don't want this post to become a total bummer, but in order to get the point across, I will tell you that over the years, my dad left us and eventually married another family. I say it that way because that is how it really was. There was even a girl my age in that new family. Back then there was no joint custody so I rarely saw him after age 12. I was back and forth, even still I am, between loving him so much I couldn't stand it and hating him to the point I wished he were dead. I have forgiven, hated, resented, and forgiven again so many times, that my own kids are confused about how to feel about him. And out of my ache for him to know my feelings, I have been open to anyone who would listen and might could sway him, about those raging emotions. To this day, I honestly believe he had no idea that his choices DEEPLY affected who I was and am. He thinks he did nothing wrong. In fact, he still speaks quite spitefully about my mother and lays the blame at her feet. At one point I wanted to scream "She's not the one who couldn't keep it in her pants!!!" But what's the use? He would just think she had turned me against him.

As an adult of this situation, I have gone from tentatively reaching out to him, desperately wanting him to be MY father and MY children's grandfather, bitterly resenting his "new" daughter (I never even met her till I was nearly 30 so I don't really consider her my step sister, nor her mother my step mother) and her children for having him, to respectfully and obediently trying to honor my father, to finally, slowly, and with much pain, realizing that he is never going to be what I want him to be and deciding to let him be the adult and the parent in the situation. I was going to continue to write occasionally, but it's his responsibility to initiate anything further. There will never be the closure I have always longed for. No, "I'm sorry I hurt you", no "I have always loved you", none of that. I just have to accept that he does not feel or see things that way. I really don't expect him to be around much longer and though I know I will regret it later, I cannot bring myself to think I would attend his funeral. I would not be able to contain my grief and I don't know what all I have bottled up in the name of forgiveness that will come out. But I have truly gotten to the place where I just don't think about him that often.

This morning, I awoke at 5 AM, thinking of my father and fighting tears. A quiet grief was there. I missed him. I had written him a couple of months ago and had heard nothing. He missed my birthday. Not that it was a huge deal, he does most of the time, but it was waying on me. I knew, as I always take those times to pray for whoever is on my heart, that God was moving me to pray for him. So I got up and went about my blogging activities with a prayer on my lips. Reading other blogs pulled me out of my funk and sent me on my way. Everything was fine.

This afternoon, in the mail, I recieved a birthday card from my Daddy. He had accidentally written the wrong zip code on it and it was returned to him. He wrote a short note telling me of the delay and re-sent it. Needless to say, the tears held back for months and even this morning, came. I still love my Daddy.

Wordless Wednesday-Going, going, gone...did I mention that it was about 45 degrees ?.

 
 
 
 

For more Wordless Wednesday see 5 Minutes for Mom.

My previous Wordless Wednesdays:
The Grand Scheme of Things.
Gracie
A Prayer Request
Southern Pearls
Enraptured
Concentration
Mantis Meal
Intelligent Design Posted by Picasa

Monday, October 23, 2006

Oh how the years go by...

It's been a long time since I was overwhelmed by diapers and nursing babies. For 12 long years I had at least one in diapers. Now, one is basically out of the nest and the next is getting ready to fly. My youngest is 10 now. Am I relieved not to have diaper duty and sleepless nights? YES, yes, a resounding yes! Am I no longer overwhlemed? I most definately AM! It's over different things now, but oh yes, it plagues me still.

But above all of that is the nagging sense that I am losing my babies. While I am of course, quite proud of their accomplishments and thoroughly enjoy watching them become young men and women, I can't help but draw inside myself as I watch them and try to remember that sweet little voice, or those chubby little smiles. There isn't a trace of that left in their faces now. It saddens me that I can't remember it. I have pictures. Oh you better believe I have pictures. I have about 30 of those boxes that are specially made to hold pictures-you know the ones that are about shoebox size and are acid free? Not to mention albums galore full of their pictures. I always thought that would suffice. But I find myself grieving that I can't recall it on my own. The images are just not there anymore. I remember them as children, but the details that I loved so are just blurs now. Like a really faded photograph.

Here they are all except for the oldest. Babies no more.
 
 
 
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Sunday, October 15, 2006

They grow up too fast.

My youngest, my baby, is 10 years old. I don't advocate a girl that young being into boys and I know that there are some out there that are going to think this is terrible. But sometimes, when hormones kick in, young girls get crushes. It isn't anything you can put a stop to. It just happens For anyone who wants to beef about that, just ask yourself if you have ever had an emotion kick in whether you wanted it to or not and if you could easily control it AS AN ADULT. What about that last time someone cut you off on the highway? Did a certain emotion get the best of you? Okay, nuff said.

Anyway, she has been hinting around that there was this certain boy...! She hinted at his age, he's about 12. She hinted that he was in our youth group at church. She's hinted that she has played air hockey with him on one of the nights we were helping with the youth, but she has never told me who, and I didn't press her. I know she will tell me in time.

Today, she asked if we had to go back to church next Sunday. Yes of course was our reply and she proceeded to look very glum. I somehow knew it had something to do with that boy, but other than quipping, "boy-trouble?" I didn't push the issue. She said nothing. A few minutes later I had a ball of 10 year old girl curled up beside me. She had turned with her back to me, leaning on me and balled up so no one else could see her pout. I caressed her hair and waiting for her to talk.

Finally, "now I know why they call it a crush." was ever so quietly pouted out. My heart broke. "She's too young to have to deal with these emotions!" my heart cried out to God. "Please protect her tender heart and keep her innocence where her emotions are concerned. It's just too soon."

But like it or not, she has crossed a line. The childlike trust has been broken and she now knows a taste of what a broken heart is like. My poor sweet girl. I ache for her. I am trying to teach her not to give her heart away, but who of us women can remember those first few stirrings over a boy. Could any of us ever imagined a way to curb those feelings, much less put a stop to them? No I don't think I could even do it now, much less when I still had the faith and innocent love of a child. My other girls never really went through this. Oh yeah they had crushes, but they were short lived enough that they didn't experience the rejection. They usually got over the boy first. This one, she is so much like me and I worry for her self image. There SHOULD be nothing there to give her a bad one, but with boys being such a big deal already...SHE'S TEN!!!! It is too soon.

So what is a mom to do? Well, what else do you do for a broken heart? I got her some chocolate.

Hey, don't knock it, it worked!

Friday, October 13, 2006

What region are you from?

This is one of my favorite jokes to tell people who aren't familiar with Southern colloqialisms. Can you read this?

MR Ducks
MR Not
OSAR
CM Wangs
LIB
MR Ducks

If you can read this, you are from the South.


What about this:
Do you know what PSDS are or pocked cah is?
If you do, then you are probably from Boston.

I have heard a few others, but would like to hear from you. What are some of the phonectically spelled sayings from your neck of the woods?

Oh, and in case you DIDN't know, the defined versions of the above are:

Them are ducks. MR Ducks
Them are not. MR Not
Oh yes they are. OSAR
See them Wings? CM WAngs
Well, I'll be. LIB
Them ARE ducks. MR Ducks


Peirced Ears (PSDS) and Parked Car (Pocked Cah)

Dan is on his way to the States!

Just recieved this from Beverly:

"Okay, the good news first...

Daniel is on his way home!!! We called Germany early this morning and Dan
has been discharged and is on the plane headed for the USA!!! Yea!!! He
will be at Walter Reed sometime this evening.

Because Dan has been taken off of the SI List (seriously injured list), he
will most probably be redirected back to Ft. Bragg, which is his home base.
The Womack Hospital on the base is expecting his arrival sometime Saturday
afternoon. Because it is the weekend, paperwork will not be completed and
filed until Monday morning. Because he may be considered an outpatient, the
military may not transport us, his family, down to see him.

In the midst of all the good news about Dan, there is some frustration on my
part that the timing on things seems to keep us from being able to act on
our impulses to just get down there, wherever "there" may be, to see our
son. I am reminded daily that our timing is not God's timing, nor are we any
more special than all the other servicemen and women who are returning from
the battlefront to their awaiting family members. I am so very grateful that
Dan's wounds have been attended to in such a way that he is healing at a
progressive rate and his outlook is very positive.

The military personnel that we've been in contact with have been wonderfully
supportive of our circumstance. They are working with us as best as
possible "to make all things work together for good" (sound familiar?) :-)
One way or another, we will go down to see Daniel. We just aren't sure how
or when, but we will go.

Heidi is home again from college with the anticipation of seeing her brother
soon. My sister, Karen, who lives with us, will be traveling along with us
as well...She's anxious to see Daniel with the hurt legs and all the
nurses... :-) She thinks Dan is pretty special and having nurses and
doctors take care of him is just icing on the cake for her. :-) You'd have
to know Karen to understand. She's very special to us.

I pray that Dan's plane ride home today will be as comfortable as possible
for him and the other wounded soldiers. Hopefully soon I'll have some
pictures for you of us with Daniel in our arms. Your faithfulness of
prayers is what's sustaining us...

By His Grace,
Bev"

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Updates on Dan-and a quick church stuff update

I have been so busy the last week and am so behind on everything. I just want to say a quick thing about the meeting with the pastor for the 2 or 3 of you that have been keeping up with that. I can't say much more about that right now (for time's sake) than that it went well and my pastor and the head of the Sight Ministry hit it off real well. I think it is the beginning of something beautiful:-)

Okay, here are the latest reports on Dan Peters. Please continue praying for him. I am just copying the e-mails I have gotten from his mother.

"To Stay or Not to Stay...(Recieved Monday. 10/9)
The title says it all.....Dan's flight home tomorrow has been delayed. It
seems there are mechanical problems with the plane. His new departure date
is Wed....maybe.... I'd like to just jump on a plane and head over there,
but just as sure as I would, then we would cross paths in the air. It's
hard to be patient....

I did talk to Dan this morning. He had just gotten out of OR again. He was
in quite a bit of pain. I'm not sure what procedure they did this
morning...so don't have many details other than he said his right leg was
numb and he was sweating profusely...He sounded very uncomfortable. But the
nurses were there attending to him. I just have to trust that they were able
to stabilize the situation.

Dan did call home a little later and talked to Heidi. I was off getting
medicine for Heidi because she has come down with a double ear infection.
She's been getting worse ever since she got home. Tomorrow she leaves to go
back to school with medicine in hand...What's a mother to do...???

They have transferred Dan's buddy, SSG Robertson (notice his rank...I had it
wrong before...)ooops... He left Germany on Sunday. I'm not sure why they
decided to send them separate... Hopefully they will meet up again in MD.
Somehow I will get him the messages that all of you have been sending.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring better news...By His Grace, Bev"




(Recieved Wed. Oct. 11)
"Well, it¹s Wed. Just got off the phone with Dan. He won¹t be headed home
today. It seems his blood count it too low. Also, his last two toes are not
looking good. Thanks to all of you who are praying for him. It means so much
to him and to us to know that there are others that care. I¹ll update his
progress once I talk to his case manager todayĆ "



Recieved today, Oct. 12)
"Hi Everyone,
Well, yesterday was certainly a trying day...I spent about 6 hours on the
phone with Daniel. We cried, we laughed, we prayed, we talked...He's very
frustrated about being stuck in Germany. I tried to assure him that he is
there for a reason...His faith is being stretched...and we all know that
that can be a good thing. We talked a lot about his walk with Jesus and how
his life has been spared...more than once these last few weeks. All in all,
it was a good day. Wish I could have been by his bedside, but being able to
hear his voice and listen to his stories is the next best thing. Thank you
to the army for making that possible for this momma and son.

He did receive some more units of blood yesterday. He wasn't happy about
getting someone else's blood...he's not a big fan of needles...especially
large ones. ;-) I was told by the nurse that he'd most likely be receiving
some more units today during his procedure this morning. When they wash out
his wounds and do more stitching and repairs, it's only natural that he will
bleed more...and he lost so much in the beginning; his body just hasn't been
able to replenish it to normal yet. They may also take the last two toes
today. The fourth one wasn't looking good at all yesterday and the fifth
one was also completely black. The two broken bones in his leg still have
not been cast. There are too many wounds on the exterior that need
attention. They were finally able to completely close the 6 inch gash on his
upper left thigh (backside) yesterday. All the other ones are still open and
very raw.

He's talking to me about the last events of his journey. Although they are
gruesome details, I'm glad that he is able to voice them. I know that will
be healing to him today as well as down the road. Your prayers are a big
part of that. I've been receiving many encouraging emails and cards for him
and SSG Robertson I can't wait to deliver them.

Dan has been removed from the seriously injured list...although this is a
good thing, it may also delay him coming home as the ones in most urgent
need get priority first. I know that God will bring him home in His perfect
timing.....but it sure is hard to wait. ;-)

By His Grace, Bev"

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Wordless Wednesday-Gracie

She was a silly baby, but now she really fits her name.

 
 

For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

My previous Wordless Wednesdays:
A Prayer Request
Southern Pearls
Enraptured
Concentration
Mantis Meal
Intelligent Design Posted by Picasa

Sunday, October 8, 2006

Sunday's News-new update on Dan

Beverly would really like to know who is praying for her son. If you can, jot them off an e-mail to let them know. byhisgrace404@verizon.net She also says that if you want to sent personal messages, she will print them and hand deliver them this week.

The following is straight from Beverly:

"We were able to talk to Dan again yesterday. Some good news is that his
buddy that lost his foot in the battle has been moved to Daniel's room. The
plan is for the two of them to be transferred to the states together. I'm
glad they have each other to get through this ordeal. Maybe they won't
focus so much on their own pain. This soldier's name is SPC Robertson.
Please add him to your prayer list. Losing a foot at any age would be
tough. I believe that he is close to Daniel's age (22).

The next good news is that they are scheduled to come stateside on Tuesday.
Barring any other set backs, that means that we should be able to go see him
in Maryland either Wed or Thurs. Yea!

Yesterday, when I talked to Dan he sounded stronger, but did say that his
fourth toe is looking a little grey. However, he still has feeling in it;
so they haven't given up hope on it yet. It sounds like the hospital staff
is doing a wonderful job keeping these young men comfortable. I can't wait
to go see for myself! ;-)

We've been trying all day to get through to him again, but haven't had much
luck. I'm sure weekend staff is more limited than on weekdays. At least
that's my conclusion, anyway. ;-) I will update again when I know something
of significance. ....by the way, I am keeping track of how many of you are
praying for them. I am going to take him a list so he can see just how many
people care about our soldiers....thank you for your gift of prayers. If
you'd like to send a message to him or SPC Robertson, you can email it to me
and I will hand deliver it to them this week.


I've finally created a group listing so that I can send these updates more
efficiently. Because I have added several new names, I'm going to include
some earlier notes that I sent went this ordeal started. So these next few
paragraphs will be repetitious for some of you. Bare with me... For those
of you who are posting these emails, you can cut and paste the new
info....(you probably already new that) ;-)





Dan's Unit Ambushed (Oct 3rd)

> Okay, I think most of you know by now that Dan was injured in a mortar
> attack this past evening. After the initial call from one of the captains,
> we received a call from Dan. What a relief to hear his sweet voice!!! He
> sounded very groggy and was probably still in a little bit of shock. Both
> legs were badly injured. He said he has holes in both legs and his right
> leg and foot are broken. They had to reattach a few of his toes. So there
> is a chance he may loose them. He did have a head injury, but he said he
> didn't think it was bad. He said there was so much blood on his face that
> he thought he was blind. How scary that must have been!
>
> He is being sent to Germany sometime today. I'm not sure how the process
> will go. I'm sure they will re-evaluate his injuries in Germany before they
> decide when he can come home. I will send out another update as I get more
> information.
>
> Please pray for the remaining soldiers in his unit. They were still under
> attack when Dan was evacuated. The Taliban are not letting up. Our
> soldiers need every bit of support that we can give them.
>
> Beverly
>
> PS. Thanks for your many notes of encouragement and prayers



Subject: 10 little toes (Oct.6th)

Hey Everyone,

I just got off the phone with Daniel. First of all, he wanted me to thank
all of you for the many prayers spoken on his behalf. I'm trying to save
all of them so that he can have a glimpse of the number of people that have
been bathing him in prayer.

Second, the procedure that he endured this morning went very well. They
were able to wash out and bandage all of his wounds. I'm still not sure
what exactly they have done to his right foot, but the nurse told me that
all the pins and wires are stable. They cleaned up the area and doused it
with medication and new bandages. The nurse told me that his 5 toes on his
right foot are rosy pink. There's quite a bit of damage to the bone area
where to toes attach themselves to the foot. But for now, everything looks
as it should be.

There are no orders for him to be transported immediately. Dan still thinks
that he will head for the states on Sunday. Where he is coming to is still
not determined for sure. He says one thing and we are told another. I am
just so thankful that he is getting the medical treatment that he needs and
he's got so many prayer warriors covering that and every other detail, too.

My daughter, Heidi, is coming home tonight for her first trip home from
college. I can't wait to hug her! We'll call Dan again tomorrow and let
her talk to him then.

Once again, thank you for your concern and for your prayers. By His Mighty
Hand, Dan's life has been spared.

By His Grace,
Beverly
"

Friday, October 6, 2006

Ten Little Toes-new update on wounded soldier.

This is the latest news from the Peters' about their son. Anyone who wants to link to these stories, please do so. Let's bathe this young man, AND his unit that is still in Afghanistan, in prayer. There is also a really cute picture of Dan as a toddler at this blog. It really puts this into perspecting when you see his little toes when they were just tiny things. Just kinda brings it home a bit more.

Just copy this link to the original post and put it in your post. Thanks so much!
http://randomgems.blogspot.com/2006/10/wordless-wednesday.html

"Hey Everyone,

I just got off the phone with Daniel. First of all, he wanted me to thank
all of you for the many prayers spoken on his behalf. I'm trying to save
all of them so that he can have a glimpse of the number of people that have
been bathing him in prayer.

Second, the procedure that he endured this morning went very well. They
were able to wash out and bandage all of his wounds. I'm still not sure
what exactly they have done to his right foot, but the nurse told me that
all the pins and wires are stable. They cleaned up the area and doused it
with medication and new bandages. The nurse told me that his 5 toes on his
right foot are rosy pink. There's quite a bit of damage to the bone area
where to toes attach themselves to the foot. But for now, everything looks
as it should be.

There are no orders for him to be transported immediately. Dan still thinks
that he will head for the states on Sunday. Where he is coming to is still
not determined for sure. He says one thing and we are told another. I am
just so thankful that he is getting the medical treatment that he needs and
he's got so many prayer warriors covering that and every other detail, too.

My daughter, H, is coming home tonight for her first trip home from
college. I can't wait to hug her! We'll call Dan again tomorrow and let
her talk to him then.

Once again, thank you for your concern and for your prayers. By His Mighty
Hand, Dan's life has been spared.

By His Grace,
Beverly"

Thursday, October 5, 2006

Update on Dan and a meme

Sorry to include serious and not so serious in the same post, but I am trying to update and play catch up at the same time.

First, here’s an update on Dan Peters, Sarah Walston’s cousin.

“We were finally able to get through to Daniel tonight. Poor thing...It was
1 am there and he still hasn't been able to rest because of x-rays, blood
draws and his mom and dad tracking him down. ;-) All in all he sounded
good, but tired. He still remembers quite a bit of detail. So that tells
me that the head injury wasn't too bad. Yea!

The doctors will perform a procedure on him in the morning. The purpose is
to take a closer look at the broken bones in his right leg and foot and to
see how the re-attachment of his toes is coming along. I thought he had
said a few toes. As it turns out, it is all 5 toes. They were all severed,
as well as the ball of his right foot. Ouch! The rest of the injuries are
chunks taken out of his legs from the flying shrapnel. Hopefully they will
heal quickly. He said his dog tags have a dent in them! If all goes well
tomorrow, he's thinking that he will head for the states on Sunday. So now
we wait for the diagnosis of his doctors.

I've included a link below that pretty much tells the story of what
happened. Please keep these Canadian families in your prayers as they grieve
for these men.

Again, thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Bev”


The link she sent didn’t work so here’s one to the same story:
http://www.canada.com/topics/news/story.html?id=2d19a6cc-90ae-4356-ab70-c3c224404549&k=13599
_____________________________________________________________________

Now, I am a little late with this one, and I apologize to kpjara at Can You Hear Me Now for missing it the first time around. Kp tagged me with this word meme. Sorry, I was so caught up in the whirlwind here. I am committed to getting all my blog stuff caught up by Monday.

Okay, I’m not sure if I’ve done this right. As I understand it, I am supposed to write what the words mean to me.
Miracle
Dangerous
Obedient
Imagine


Miracle-Life. I have to think that life is the ultimate miracle. I can fathom that anyone could hold a newborn baby in their arms and not believe in miracles.

Dangerous-false doctrine. The first thing that popped into my mind was the scripture about even the very elect being deceived. That is a scary thought. I pray protection from this danger!

Obedient-to die to self. I think of those 5 missionaries in Ecuador, trying to reach a people that everyone else feared, just to save them. I believe with all my heart, they were called to obey and they were obedient unto death. I believe that there are those that this is asked of. It is the ultimate death to self.

Imagine-The first thing that I think of with this word is joy. Great abounding joy. The joy that we will experience when we see him face to face. And even though I know Tam at Time for Twittering used this as well, the song , “I Can Only Imagine” is exactly the words I would use.

And for the bonus, I’m going to do the original 4 words. (drum roll please)

Angel
Twist
Vibrant
Quest

Angel-I have to tell a story with this one. We lived in Murray, KY at the time and were heading to Hendersonville for a reunion. We were on this little 2 lane highway just outside of Clarksville. We passed this side road and I saw an ambulance with lights flashing in the distance on that side road. I didn’t think much more of it other than to watch in the rear view to see which direction it would turn when it got to the highway. I knew it would turn in behind us headed toward Clarksville, but I just kept my eye on it. When it turned onto the highway, it was about a mile behind us. I just casually mentioned to my husband that it was coming up behind him and to watch for it. I didn’t think any more about it. As it passed us, I felt the iciest chill run down my spine as I saw in my mind an angel laying on the top of that ambulance and holding on like he was on the ride of his life. He turned as they passed and looked at me with the most urgent expression I have ever seen, pointed at me and said, “PRAY, there’s a child in here!” All of this happened in my head but the hairs that were standing on end told me that this was for real. I started praying silently, but with a stunned urgency as I continued to stare, wide-eyed, at the ambulance that was now in the distance. Hubby looked over at me and asked “are you okay?” I didn’t know what to say. He’s an ultra-logical person and I don’t think he would’ve believed me if I told him. I DID tell my mom after we got to her house.

Later that night after we were back home, Mom called me and said she caught the tail end of a story on the news about an injured child being taken by ambulance to a Clarksville hospital that morning and was doing well. She didn’t hear what happened that led to it all.

Oh yeah, I’ve had encounters with them.

Twist-This is so unreligious, but the first thing that came to my mind was this Lemon Twist thing I had when I was a kid. It was a plastic tube thing that went over your foot and around your ankle. On the other end of it was a weighted lemon shaped thing that had shakers inside. You slung it around with the foot it was attached to and jumped it with the other. Sort of a skip step. In fifth grade we LOVED those things. EVERYone (girls anyway) had them and we would bring them to school and play with them on the playground. Silly huh?

Vibrant-Ever have those moments when you have to take a deep breath and the air just seems so much sweeter? Just for a second you realize how wonderful life is and you just want to take it all in. The breeze feels wonderful, the sky is a brilliant blue, you seem to “understand” and everything is right with the world. It only lasts for a second before you are back in reality and you can’t recapture that fresh breath of air no matter how hard you try. I truly believe that is the breath of God being breathed into us. And that is what I would call “vibrant”.

Quest-haha A quest is when you step out of the boat. When Jesus says “follow me” or “come” and you do.

But then, Johnny Quest comes to mind as wellJ

Now I tag Cool Mama and Susan with:

Tinker
Coffee
Lavish
Silence

PS Keep praying for Susan’s cousin, Dan.

pics from Pigeon Forge

Well, from our picnic anyways. We were in Pigeon Forge, but we didn't get out much. Here's hubby with his picnic on our patio. And the bottom pic is THE cake. Chocolate amaretto cake with a hint of cinnamon, and an apricot filling, covered in a dark chocolate glaze and topped with chocolate dipped strawberries!!!!!!! Oh was it good! Oh, and the rose? It's made out of tootsie rolls with a glaze painted on. Cool huh?

 
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Updates

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has been praying for the Peters'. Bev (Dan's mom) sent an e-mail last night saying he was being transported to Germany and should have a phone so they can talk to him sometime today.

Second, I would like to thank those who have been praying for me as I follow God wherever it is He is leading me. To this point, I am not sure where this is all going yet. I did meet with the Pastor on Tues. He was excited about what I had to say and eager. So now he wants to meet Richard, the head of the Sight Ministry. The Sight Ministry is the Exodus affiliate ministry here that I have been involved with. Part of what I would like to see is for our church to support this ministry. My Pastor seemed very receptive to that and wants to talk to Richard about what kind of structure our own church should be developing as an effort to be prepared for this area of ministry. The Pastor also want to meet with my daughter who started this whole thing to begin with. I wrote earlier about her friend who came out to her in their senior year of high school. Through him she has met and befriended many young gay men. And I began praying for them. Out of those prayers as well as my daughter's witness to them, one of them, the one who was her friend in high school, has decided to leave the lifestyle! Praise God!!!!!! Anyway, he is so afraid of his old church and it is my goal to have a safe place for him to heal and seek God. A place where it is understood that he won't just change overnight, but where there are people willing to accept that and stand with him as he finds freedom. Thank you for your prayers and keep praying, please. First for this young man and the many others that I wish I could name. Second for me, I have to SPEAK about this on Sunday and for the next 2 Sundays after, to a group of youth leaders about the standing firm with compassion and the reality of this among our own youth. Have I mentioned that I am scare to DEATH of public speaking? Yes, it's true! Microphones make me CRY! But back when God first started dealing with me about sharing my own story, He gave me a vision of sharing it publicly. I knew it was coming and I feel this is training for that day. I figure it's easier to speak about something that's not so personal when I am just starting out.

I want to leave you with this. Think about your own church for a minute. I bet you never realized that probably as much as a third of your church members have something to hide. Maybe it's something that happened long ago. But the chances are it is sexual in nature and very painful for them. Now think of this...Who do they have to confide in? Could they come to you? Would you love them enough to help them deal with it and find freedom in Christ? Or would it just be too shocking and make you fearful to be around them?

If they could come to you, how would they know?

The church, in general, is so unprepared to deal with this issues. Why is it that the very place that God intended for us to find healing, is so ill-equipped to help us? This is my mission. I don't know how, and I don't know what, but I believe God has placed it on my heart to see that, at least my own church, has the resources, the training, and the means, to meet the ever growing population of sexually broken people. We are so inundated with it in our society. It's everywhere we look, everywhere we turn. It's no wonder we have people who are "broken" in this area. The internet alone has brought a tremendous flood of an epidemic of people addicted to sex and porn. Yet the church is only now beginning to wake up and pull its head out of the sand on this issue.

I will stop on that note for now. It's time to start chauffeuring my kids for the afternoon. But think about these things for a bit. And keep praying.

Thank you so much!!!

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Wordless Wednesday

Dan Peters was injured in Afghanistan yesterday. His cousin, Sarah Walston, has the info on her blog.

Please visit this link and join with me in prayer for this young man and his unit.
 
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For more Wordless Wednesday, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

My previous Wordless Wednesdays:
Southern Pearls
Enraptured
Concentration
Mantis Meal
Intelligent Design

Tuesday, October 3, 2006

The long-awaited moment

I only have 30 minutes before the moment, so I will have to make this quick. Before I go on, I want to thank those of you who sent wishes to My Man. I relayed them to him and he was very appreciative. He had a very relaxing time this weekend, which is what i was hoping for. I will post a pic or two and tell more later.

Okay, this is where it all began.. I worte more about it here. From that point on, God sent me on a whirlwind journey and I wasn't even sure where I would end up. That journey sent me to another state without my family to see and know His compassion for a people that have been, for the most part, shut out by the church. Now, this journey has mostly been focused on the homosexual community, but through it, I have gained a compassion for anyone in bondage to ANYthing. This trip launched a vision in me for the church. Not just mine, but THE church. Much of the stirrings in my heart were merely confirmed at the Exodus conference and the multitude of God directed moments over the last few months. The vision itself, solidified and cleared over the days and weeks following Exodus. I sent this letter to my pastor and posted it here the week after I went to Exodus. I have been not-so-patiently waiting for a response from my pastor. I know that in the waiting period, the vision God gave me, has grown and the details have been clarified. So even though I did grumble about it, I knew I needed to submit to it.

Well, that moment is here. In 15 minutes, I will sit down with my Pastor and share with him what I feel God has given me to share. I am nervous, but uncannily sure of myself. Nervous in that I know this will eventually involve public speaking. Sure in that I KNOW that this is something God has placed in my heart. The youth pastor has already scheduled me to speak on the topic of homosexuality to the youth leaders beginning next Sunday. Not that I am an authority, but I am the only one who has had any experience whatsoever on the topic due to my daughter's gay friends and my working with the Sight Ministry, as well as the Exodus conference. They know that young people are faced with this earlier and earlier (my son was first faced with someone declaring homosexuality in SEVENTH GRADE). Yes, it's out there folks and if your kids are in public school, they are hearing and learning about it. The sad thing is that at such a tender age, many of them are deciding to identify themselves with it. There are even "fads" or "trends", especially among teenage girls, to be bisexual. Yes, it even has a name-L.U.G.-lesbian until graduation.

How do we deal with this as Christians? So far, we have merely stuck our heads in the sand or thrown stones at it. Neither works. I will write more on this later. Keep me in your prayers cause I am now out of the boat.