It takes that kind of a call to get my attention.
After all the searching and questioning I finally know what to do.
I was reading the following and it is like a lightbulb came on. It was one of those things where the words on the surface don't go with what is going on, but inside, God is giving me an interpretation that is right on. I just knew that this is what I have been searching for-the direction I needed.
Funny how is a split second, God can speak VOLUMES to our souls. I kinda think it will be that way when we die and we get glimpses of it here on earth. We will just KNOW. What ever it is we've ever wondered, I believe when we die, we will KNOW. 1 Corinthians 13:12
In my heart, as I read the following words, I knew God was calling me to a new season in my life. I have taken the first steps and it's time to dive in. So here I am, stepping out of the boat of "church as we know it" and commiting myself to the water.
I even wrote about this vision I had earlier this year. I said "I suddenly see the futility of what I am doing, give up and decide it's not worth the battle. I am just too tired and it's not getting us anywhere. We just can't all fit on the boats. I fully expect to sink and die, but instead I find that when I quit fighting and clamoring for the safety of the boats, my life preserver holds me up effortlessly and I am fine." I just wasn't putting the two together. I had based my concerns on some dreams I had aobut 2 years ago about our church being "taken over" by one group or another and I was the lone voice shouting warnings to everyone. Maybe instead of warning me to beware of being decieved, those dreams were warning me of how I would be when our church goes through changes.
Anyway, read on. Thank you to those who have been praying for me and my church through all of this. Truthfully, I had my mind made up to leave, but now I am at peace with staying. God just gave me new eyes to see things the way He wanted me to. Church will never be the same. It is about to become an adventure!
"Friend, will you hoard the last drops of oil in your jug or will you lavish them on others because you have nothing to lose? God has a plan. Be there when he stops by. Bake him a cake. He's got a miracle of grace in store, just for you." excerpt from "Fresh out of Grace" by Barbara Johnson from the devotional book Extravagant Grace.
1 Kings 17: 7-15
7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?" 11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."
13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "
15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.
38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."