Thursday, March 8, 2007

Spinning my wheels

There is something about busy-ness that I enjoy. I do well with deadines, but I have to take them in spurts. I am not a person that can do 20 different projects and add more as I go. I can handle 2 or 3 at a time, but I have to take long breaks between spells of busy-ness. I enjoy it while it's going on, butI dry out spiritually during those times. I AM a project oriented person. I don't like mundane daily tasks. I like to have something new and big to work on...for a while. I am as happy as a bee on a daisy when I have 2-3 projects like that going...when there is an end in sight.

Well, I have the projects. I have loved doing them, but I am spiritually dry as a bone. I need some time to recharge. I can't tell you the last time I have been able to sink my teeth into the Word. I wasn't even missing it till I was listening to a friend tell me what God is doing in her life. Then I got jealous.

Oh, how I know I need to be taking time to be with God when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head. I HATE feeling jealous. But the truth is, that I have been so busy that I haven't allowed God to speak to me. I haven't had the time or energy to pursue our relationship. I hadn't even had the time to notice how long it's been or how badly I missed. it.

So today I am determined to pare down and start remembering who I am. Along with the jealously came the realization that I don't even think about spiritual things as readily as I used to. I find myself being less compassionate and thankful and I don't like that at all. I NEED some time. I NEED to be still. I NEED to know that He is God.